Tuesday, 18 June 2013

My thoughts on Gratitude

I'm going to start this by saying that life is not a bed of roses right now. Due to my health issues this spring I left a company that treated me wonderfully to take a job close to home. This has turned out to be a disaster and my self esteem has been dealt yet another blow.
For most of my life I have lived by the credo of positive thoughts bring positive actions and reactions. I lose touch with that now and then while in the midst of some crisis or other but can usually return to my positive frame of mind. For the past four years I've had real difficulty seeing what's good and lovely in my life as I struggle financially.
On Saturday I lost my job. I'd like to say unexpectedly but it wasn't really. The execution of that departure is what hit me. The owner of this company is, quite simply, a bastard. He's a spoiled man/child who is used to everyone letting him get away with bad behaviour. I was not his choice for hiring and he made that clear from the moment I walked through the door. I have never been treated with such contempt and disrespect in my life. So, I had one foot out the door but I was working on setting up my next move. Nonetheless, I came home in tears to the open arms of my son, Jeff. I know he was even more scared than me but he held me and let me cry it out. I am so grateful to have him in my life.
Then I texted my rock, Brenda, who thank god was up here. She sat through my ranting and gave me a better perspective on things and lunch. I'll be honest, I'm having a hard time figuring out just where I fit in in life right now. Brenda made sure that I knew I was valued. I love her for that.
Sunday I had a glass of wine and talk with Colleen. Our paths have crossed since we moved to Muskoka and we clicked from day one. I won't go into some of the icky parts of our lives that we have in common but we understand where the other is coming from. I'm going to be making use of her real estate talents but just having another shoulder is invaluable. Thank goodness we found each other.
I'm sitting here listening to CBC ( as usual) and they're discussing gratitude. It's funny how things come into your life just when you need to hear them. That's what sent me to my blog. I have quietly embraced all this new age mumbo-jumbo because I've seen evidence of controlling your universe. It's time to take these moments I have right now to center myself again and focus on bringing positive energy back into my life. My Wayne Dyer discs will be dusted off. Yes, I do listen to him. He approaches things with a sense of humour and practicality that that I can work with.
If I haven't said it lately I am so grateful for my family and friends. The older I get the more I appreciate the wonderful people who cross my path. I truly believe that everyone comes into your life for a reason. I'm trying to figure out why this bastard had to cross my path but, guess what, I came into his life for a reason as well. I'm sure he learned nothing from the encounter. I have learned to appreciate those people I've worked for who saw value in my contribution.
As for making use of Colleen's real estate talents, that's a story for another day. Plans to be made.

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