I've sort of been avoiding writing for the past few weeks because I'm trying to decide whether or not to share the latest event in my life. With the loss of another friend this week, Debbie Askin, I'm definitely feeling mortal. Three weeks ago I collapsed in a grocery store with a seizure. I woke up in the hospital with little recollection of what happened. The biggest problem with this was I was still in Barrie and all alone. Not to worry, as soon as I was coherent I was on the phone connecting with my gang and the girls and Theo rode to my rescue. They brought me home that night and I was basically out of it for the next few days. The boys collected my car the next day. I love my family.
Now I'm waiting to have a doctor say my brain is fine so that I can have permission to drive again. Needless to say this puts a huge crimp in my life since, as you all know, I do nothing but drive everyday. I'm not trying to make light of this because, while I know I feel better, if the doctor doesn't agree or my tests show something I may have to take a leave of absence. Then how do I take care of the family? There's a stressor I don't need.
This happened to me once before 33 years ago. Let's just say it wasn't the best year of my life; my dad had died, Roy had died, I'd broken up with Mark and I was just finishing college. I'm pretty sure stress was a major factor in that seizure. So now I'm trying to figure out what caused the latest episode. I don't feel stressed but there must be underlying factors. The drive, of course, my constant worry about money, goes without saying. Maybe it's an age thing. It has certainly made me feel my age, lol.
My kids were rocks at the hospital but they're so much like me that I can't really tell how scared or worried they are. No one has said anything since but I get the feeling they're on high alert. Jeff has been great. He thinks he's being useless since coming home from school but I think the timing was fortuitous. He's turned into my chauffeur putting up with my gentle driving advice. It's well known that I am the world's worst passenger. That comes under that giving up control thing, not my strong suit.
So, Wednesday is D day. I go see the neurologist to get the results of my tests. I am nothing if not a great salesperson so I will be doing the selling of my life. The papers to reinstate my licence are waiting in my purse. I refuse to think that I'll come home without them signed. It's not foolish wishful thinking. A week ago I could almost feel something snap back into place and my head felt better than it has, quite frankly, in months. Now to make the doctor see that it's true. Wish me luck and don't worry I will not be collapsing again any time soon, I promise.