I'm going to start this by saying that life is not a bed of roses right now. Due to my health issues this spring I left a company that treated me wonderfully to take a job close to home. This has turned out to be a disaster and my self esteem has been dealt yet another blow.
For most of my life I have lived by the credo of positive thoughts bring positive actions and reactions. I lose touch with that now and then while in the midst of some crisis or other but can usually return to my positive frame of mind. For the past four years I've had real difficulty seeing what's good and lovely in my life as I struggle financially.
On Saturday I lost my job. I'd like to say unexpectedly but it wasn't really. The execution of that departure is what hit me. The owner of this company is, quite simply, a bastard. He's a spoiled man/child who is used to everyone letting him get away with bad behaviour. I was not his choice for hiring and he made that clear from the moment I walked through the door. I have never been treated with such contempt and disrespect in my life. So, I had one foot out the door but I was working on setting up my next move. Nonetheless, I came home in tears to the open arms of my son, Jeff. I know he was even more scared than me but he held me and let me cry it out. I am so grateful to have him in my life.
Then I texted my rock, Brenda, who thank god was up here. She sat through my ranting and gave me a better perspective on things and lunch. I'll be honest, I'm having a hard time figuring out just where I fit in in life right now. Brenda made sure that I knew I was valued. I love her for that.
Sunday I had a glass of wine and talk with Colleen. Our paths have crossed since we moved to Muskoka and we clicked from day one. I won't go into some of the icky parts of our lives that we have in common but we understand where the other is coming from. I'm going to be making use of her real estate talents but just having another shoulder is invaluable. Thank goodness we found each other.
I'm sitting here listening to CBC ( as usual) and they're discussing gratitude. It's funny how things come into your life just when you need to hear them. That's what sent me to my blog. I have quietly embraced all this new age mumbo-jumbo because I've seen evidence of controlling your universe. It's time to take these moments I have right now to center myself again and focus on bringing positive energy back into my life. My Wayne Dyer discs will be dusted off. Yes, I do listen to him. He approaches things with a sense of humour and practicality that that I can work with.
If I haven't said it lately I am so grateful for my family and friends. The older I get the more I appreciate the wonderful people who cross my path. I truly believe that everyone comes into your life for a reason. I'm trying to figure out why this bastard had to cross my path but, guess what, I came into his life for a reason as well. I'm sure he learned nothing from the encounter. I have learned to appreciate those people I've worked for who saw value in my contribution.
As for making use of Colleen's real estate talents, that's a story for another day. Plans to be made.
Tuesday, 18 June 2013
Tuesday, 4 June 2013
Feeding My Soul
I had the house to myself today for the first time in months and what did I do with myself? I spent it lazing around. Laundry, that ever present spectre, was attended to and I did my favourite activity, bake. Just a batch of cookies but the satisfaction concocting in the kitchen always brings was just as evident.
With that in mind I just want to let everyone know that Muskoka Brownie and Baking is still in business. I'm working closer to home so I actually have time for myself so please let me know if you need any baking.
I know most people don't share my passion for cooking and baking but I've been thinking on the zen of baking. I think it comes from the same place as all of my creative endeavours, the desire to create something. There is nothing more relaxing than knitting a sweater, baking a cake or sewing an outfit ( provided the damn thing fits once you're done, still not used to my current body shape). People look at me as though I was from another planet when they learn that, yes, I still do all of these crafts. I call myself the Canadian Martha Stewart, just without her money. Handcrafts are a " good thing".
At various times in my life I haven't been able to fit crafts into my days and I always find that my soul shrivels a bit during these times. Without an outlet for some of my ADD brain I find myself becoming antsy and unhappy. One top or a piece of jewellery can instantly cure these ills and I have something new to wear!
My sisters share this passion, although we each express it differently. Joy knits socks, we all love her socks. Dayle creates jewellery, I'm always up for a gift piece. Now my daughters are getting into it as well. Jess sews and bakes. Jenn draws and is teaching herself to cook. Another generation takes up the torch. In my family we women have been crafting since at least my great-grandma. Before that there is no known history but mom would tell us stories of her mom and grandma. Grandma Kilpatrick was an excellent baker and loved to knit.
I think growing up in a house where crafting activities are all around definitely shapes you. Nothing was pushed on us but the opportunity to learn was always there. Provided, of course, the particpants have enough patience to survive each other. My learning how to sew in zippers and clothing learning to fly is a story that has gone to the grave with mom. As I tell it I was the perfect student, everything went beautifully from the beginning and nary a cross word was exchanged. Since mom isn't here to contradict me that is how it went, that'll teach her.
Being left-handed has given me a few difficult moments when first learning to sew and knit. I finally had to figure out knitting on my own. The strange thing is I now knit right-handed. Grandma was left-handed as well. I wish she had lived long enough for us to knit together.
So, I sit and plan my next project, large or small, and feed my soul.
With that in mind I just want to let everyone know that Muskoka Brownie and Baking is still in business. I'm working closer to home so I actually have time for myself so please let me know if you need any baking.
I know most people don't share my passion for cooking and baking but I've been thinking on the zen of baking. I think it comes from the same place as all of my creative endeavours, the desire to create something. There is nothing more relaxing than knitting a sweater, baking a cake or sewing an outfit ( provided the damn thing fits once you're done, still not used to my current body shape). People look at me as though I was from another planet when they learn that, yes, I still do all of these crafts. I call myself the Canadian Martha Stewart, just without her money. Handcrafts are a " good thing".
At various times in my life I haven't been able to fit crafts into my days and I always find that my soul shrivels a bit during these times. Without an outlet for some of my ADD brain I find myself becoming antsy and unhappy. One top or a piece of jewellery can instantly cure these ills and I have something new to wear!
My sisters share this passion, although we each express it differently. Joy knits socks, we all love her socks. Dayle creates jewellery, I'm always up for a gift piece. Now my daughters are getting into it as well. Jess sews and bakes. Jenn draws and is teaching herself to cook. Another generation takes up the torch. In my family we women have been crafting since at least my great-grandma. Before that there is no known history but mom would tell us stories of her mom and grandma. Grandma Kilpatrick was an excellent baker and loved to knit.
I think growing up in a house where crafting activities are all around definitely shapes you. Nothing was pushed on us but the opportunity to learn was always there. Provided, of course, the particpants have enough patience to survive each other. My learning how to sew in zippers and clothing learning to fly is a story that has gone to the grave with mom. As I tell it I was the perfect student, everything went beautifully from the beginning and nary a cross word was exchanged. Since mom isn't here to contradict me that is how it went, that'll teach her.
Being left-handed has given me a few difficult moments when first learning to sew and knit. I finally had to figure out knitting on my own. The strange thing is I now knit right-handed. Grandma was left-handed as well. I wish she had lived long enough for us to knit together.
So, I sit and plan my next project, large or small, and feed my soul.
Sunday, 12 May 2013
Musings
I never thought much about being a mom as a young woman. I new philosophically that I'd have kids one day. Most girls did back in the stone ages. I just never gave any thought to the reality of being a mother. As the book goes, " it was the best of times. It was the worst of times". When Jessica was born I fell in love. This lovely little thing trusted me literally with her life. I'd like to think I took to mothering right off but the reality is there was a lot of trial and error. As each baby arrived I fell in love all over again. Who knew that I'd take to being a mother?! In the end it has become my biggest raison d'etre.
I became fascinated with watching my kids grow through the various stages. Early babyhood was endlessly intriguing. One week your arms belong to the universe and the next week you are able to control their movement, those fingers are tasty! Getting to hear that belly laugh that only babies can produce come out of all four of them still warms my heart in memory.
Years have passed and as the kids grow and leave home some things change and others never will. I've had to learn to step back and not try to fight all the battles. Apparently the ex and I have taught them well because as young adults they are kind, funny, ambitious and, it appears, well adjusted. I still worry about them constantly because I only want the best for them and the best doesn't always come along. I've tried to picture my life without kids and I honestly can't. My family has grounded me, frustrated me and brought me joy. Without them I think I would have lead a very solitary life as I'm far too content being alone. God knew what he was doing.
My mind was wandering off in another direction today as well. I read my sister-in-law's blog about her class reunion and I wondered once again why our graduating class has never bothered to have one. My sister Dayle's class gets together regularly, with classmates coming in from all across Canada to see each other. In the past few years a few of us have started making an effort to get together and that is usually a lot of fun. Maybe it's more significant that we have chosen as a small group to rekindle old friendships. It's not the standard picture of the school gym reunion where everyone has to wear nametags (gad) and gossips about each other behind their hands.
We show up warts and all with no need to impress each other. We share stories and jokes, and companionship that still exists after all these years and our diverse lives. We've lost two of the gang in the last two years and it leads us to make a greater effort to remain in contact. This works for us. No fanfare, just friends making time for each other.
Friday, 26 April 2013
OK, this time I'm MAD!!!!
I'm am in the mood to rant so I'm going to use my little forum to vent my frustration. I'm a mother, no news there, and like all mothers when someone wrongs one of my babies I go into hunt and kill mode. Now as a modern, moderately sane mom I let my children fight their own battles even though given a chance my now rusty big-boy voice could be brought out to tear someone a new one. The best I can do is try and publicly shame today's wrongdoers.
My oldest, Jessica, gratefully joined a company called BLUE GIANT two and a half years ago. She was hired to do data entry and went in with very little experience. The pay was good, all looked rosy. Once in she was basically forced to take on the task of covering reception as well as various times of the day. This at the same time she was taking care of her own position. Six months in she was moved to a sales desk to take over some accounts, cover reception and in the beginning still do some data entry for the other sales people " because they were too busy and couldn't learn the system". This promotion was given with no raise in pay, more accountability.
Due to lack of training and support Jess had to deal with a few meetings discussing errors. I'll be honest, I didn't really believe the tone of voice Jess said the HR lady used when talking to her. There were always remarks about how young she was, she was 21 when she started.
In an aside, Jess has the grand privilege of having severe migraines. Due to the lights in her office she would frequently end up in the washroom throwing up and disabled. Instead of treating this as a real condition her HR chose to ignore it and make no adjustments to alleviate the problem. If she was in a wheel chair you bet your bippy they would make the space work. Jess ended up using all of her sick days and vacation days to have time off to recover from the headaches.
Flash ahead a year, Jess takes care of two sales reps including one that no one wants to even talk to. He is self-important and careless and Jess is constantly having to follow-up and correct his mistakes. His customers have come to rely on Jess because Kevin can't be bothered to deal with the smaller customers.
After two years of this BS Jess has had enough but keeps doing her job while starting to look for another position. Then suddenly in February a decision is made that 'restructuring' is necessary and Jess is made redundant. Always a blow to the ego even if you have one foot out the door. Ok, she now has no job and doesn't really know why. Great thing is customers and sales reps contact her as soon as they find out to lend support and offer references and jobs ( if she wants to move to the US).
As any normal Canadian would do Jess starts to get her EI account set up, just in case. And like any normal Canadian she trusst that her former employer will do what is expected and get all paperwork where it needs to go. Not expecting to need the EI Jess rode out her severance checking occasionally to see if a decision had been made on her EI. A month and a half goes by and Jess unfortunately hasn't found a job. It looks like she'll need to use the EI. Let's look and see why the account hasn't been approved. What, the ROE hasn't even been filed yet? WTH?
Calls to the HR department yield nothing so on my suggestion Jess sends a strongly worded email to Kim asking why the ROE is still not filed. Jess forwarded the answer and my jaw dropped. The snide and condescending tone used by Kim/HR saying that she wasn't a mind reader and how should she know what happened to the ROE made my blood boil. She finally deigned to send another copy to Jess which she forwarded to EI.
So, now it's three months since Jess was terminated. EI has received her copy of the ROE they're going through their process, please wait until April 25 for a decision. April 25 comes and goes and no decision. Jess calls and learns that, number one the company has never filed an ROE for her (against the law, people) and two the copy Jess sent them had been improperly filled out so they couldn't make a decision from it. This is when my mother lion instincts kicked in. Having been in a position where I've dealt with terminations for years I knew that you must file an ROE with the gov't. You have a work week to file the ROE after termination. They've even made it easy for you and put it on-line!
Now, being who I am my first inclination is to get on the phone freeze this person from top to bottom with my wrath. I have taught my children well how to hold their own in a confrontation and Jess is a master but this is her first time dealing with assholes whom she trusted to do the right thing. I have gently guided her, after venting, and we shall see what happens. This company took advantage of a girl anxious and willing to learn and move up, tossed her out and is now still screwing with her. Somebody hold me back 'cause momma lion wants to kill something.
My oldest, Jessica, gratefully joined a company called BLUE GIANT two and a half years ago. She was hired to do data entry and went in with very little experience. The pay was good, all looked rosy. Once in she was basically forced to take on the task of covering reception as well as various times of the day. This at the same time she was taking care of her own position. Six months in she was moved to a sales desk to take over some accounts, cover reception and in the beginning still do some data entry for the other sales people " because they were too busy and couldn't learn the system". This promotion was given with no raise in pay, more accountability.
Due to lack of training and support Jess had to deal with a few meetings discussing errors. I'll be honest, I didn't really believe the tone of voice Jess said the HR lady used when talking to her. There were always remarks about how young she was, she was 21 when she started.
In an aside, Jess has the grand privilege of having severe migraines. Due to the lights in her office she would frequently end up in the washroom throwing up and disabled. Instead of treating this as a real condition her HR chose to ignore it and make no adjustments to alleviate the problem. If she was in a wheel chair you bet your bippy they would make the space work. Jess ended up using all of her sick days and vacation days to have time off to recover from the headaches.
Flash ahead a year, Jess takes care of two sales reps including one that no one wants to even talk to. He is self-important and careless and Jess is constantly having to follow-up and correct his mistakes. His customers have come to rely on Jess because Kevin can't be bothered to deal with the smaller customers.
After two years of this BS Jess has had enough but keeps doing her job while starting to look for another position. Then suddenly in February a decision is made that 'restructuring' is necessary and Jess is made redundant. Always a blow to the ego even if you have one foot out the door. Ok, she now has no job and doesn't really know why. Great thing is customers and sales reps contact her as soon as they find out to lend support and offer references and jobs ( if she wants to move to the US).
As any normal Canadian would do Jess starts to get her EI account set up, just in case. And like any normal Canadian she trusst that her former employer will do what is expected and get all paperwork where it needs to go. Not expecting to need the EI Jess rode out her severance checking occasionally to see if a decision had been made on her EI. A month and a half goes by and Jess unfortunately hasn't found a job. It looks like she'll need to use the EI. Let's look and see why the account hasn't been approved. What, the ROE hasn't even been filed yet? WTH?
Calls to the HR department yield nothing so on my suggestion Jess sends a strongly worded email to Kim asking why the ROE is still not filed. Jess forwarded the answer and my jaw dropped. The snide and condescending tone used by Kim/HR saying that she wasn't a mind reader and how should she know what happened to the ROE made my blood boil. She finally deigned to send another copy to Jess which she forwarded to EI.
So, now it's three months since Jess was terminated. EI has received her copy of the ROE they're going through their process, please wait until April 25 for a decision. April 25 comes and goes and no decision. Jess calls and learns that, number one the company has never filed an ROE for her (against the law, people) and two the copy Jess sent them had been improperly filled out so they couldn't make a decision from it. This is when my mother lion instincts kicked in. Having been in a position where I've dealt with terminations for years I knew that you must file an ROE with the gov't. You have a work week to file the ROE after termination. They've even made it easy for you and put it on-line!
Now, being who I am my first inclination is to get on the phone freeze this person from top to bottom with my wrath. I have taught my children well how to hold their own in a confrontation and Jess is a master but this is her first time dealing with assholes whom she trusted to do the right thing. I have gently guided her, after venting, and we shall see what happens. This company took advantage of a girl anxious and willing to learn and move up, tossed her out and is now still screwing with her. Somebody hold me back 'cause momma lion wants to kill something.
Sunday, 14 April 2013
And now for something completely different
I've sort of been avoiding writing for the past few weeks because I'm trying to decide whether or not to share the latest event in my life. With the loss of another friend this week, Debbie Askin, I'm definitely feeling mortal. Three weeks ago I collapsed in a grocery store with a seizure. I woke up in the hospital with little recollection of what happened. The biggest problem with this was I was still in Barrie and all alone. Not to worry, as soon as I was coherent I was on the phone connecting with my gang and the girls and Theo rode to my rescue. They brought me home that night and I was basically out of it for the next few days. The boys collected my car the next day. I love my family.
Now I'm waiting to have a doctor say my brain is fine so that I can have permission to drive again. Needless to say this puts a huge crimp in my life since, as you all know, I do nothing but drive everyday. I'm not trying to make light of this because, while I know I feel better, if the doctor doesn't agree or my tests show something I may have to take a leave of absence. Then how do I take care of the family? There's a stressor I don't need.
This happened to me once before 33 years ago. Let's just say it wasn't the best year of my life; my dad had died, Roy had died, I'd broken up with Mark and I was just finishing college. I'm pretty sure stress was a major factor in that seizure. So now I'm trying to figure out what caused the latest episode. I don't feel stressed but there must be underlying factors. The drive, of course, my constant worry about money, goes without saying. Maybe it's an age thing. It has certainly made me feel my age, lol.
My kids were rocks at the hospital but they're so much like me that I can't really tell how scared or worried they are. No one has said anything since but I get the feeling they're on high alert. Jeff has been great. He thinks he's being useless since coming home from school but I think the timing was fortuitous. He's turned into my chauffeur putting up with my gentle driving advice. It's well known that I am the world's worst passenger. That comes under that giving up control thing, not my strong suit.
So, Wednesday is D day. I go see the neurologist to get the results of my tests. I am nothing if not a great salesperson so I will be doing the selling of my life. The papers to reinstate my licence are waiting in my purse. I refuse to think that I'll come home without them signed. It's not foolish wishful thinking. A week ago I could almost feel something snap back into place and my head felt better than it has, quite frankly, in months. Now to make the doctor see that it's true. Wish me luck and don't worry I will not be collapsing again any time soon, I promise.
Now I'm waiting to have a doctor say my brain is fine so that I can have permission to drive again. Needless to say this puts a huge crimp in my life since, as you all know, I do nothing but drive everyday. I'm not trying to make light of this because, while I know I feel better, if the doctor doesn't agree or my tests show something I may have to take a leave of absence. Then how do I take care of the family? There's a stressor I don't need.
This happened to me once before 33 years ago. Let's just say it wasn't the best year of my life; my dad had died, Roy had died, I'd broken up with Mark and I was just finishing college. I'm pretty sure stress was a major factor in that seizure. So now I'm trying to figure out what caused the latest episode. I don't feel stressed but there must be underlying factors. The drive, of course, my constant worry about money, goes without saying. Maybe it's an age thing. It has certainly made me feel my age, lol.
My kids were rocks at the hospital but they're so much like me that I can't really tell how scared or worried they are. No one has said anything since but I get the feeling they're on high alert. Jeff has been great. He thinks he's being useless since coming home from school but I think the timing was fortuitous. He's turned into my chauffeur putting up with my gentle driving advice. It's well known that I am the world's worst passenger. That comes under that giving up control thing, not my strong suit.
So, Wednesday is D day. I go see the neurologist to get the results of my tests. I am nothing if not a great salesperson so I will be doing the selling of my life. The papers to reinstate my licence are waiting in my purse. I refuse to think that I'll come home without them signed. It's not foolish wishful thinking. A week ago I could almost feel something snap back into place and my head felt better than it has, quite frankly, in months. Now to make the doctor see that it's true. Wish me luck and don't worry I will not be collapsing again any time soon, I promise.
Wednesday, 27 March 2013
Is Spring Really Coming?
The arrival of the warmer weather is coming none too soon. As you all know I have spent the winter driving 250kms a day back and forth to Cookstown through any and all weather conditions. I'm tired and oh so done with bad roads. So, while I'm enjoying dry highways our road is turning into quicksand! That old saying that winter flows into months of heavy sledding comes true in Utterson every spring. This week we've had thawing, creating corduroy, then freezing again, hardening the corduroy and now to mush. No flooding yet so I guess we should count our blessings, lol! And it continues to snow!!!
Spring always brings about a re-evaluation of things more so than the turning of a new year. With the return of daylight I like to make plans for all that spare time that will suddenly appear. The gardens will, this year, become those shining examples of an English garden I so desire. My lack of a green thumb doesn't factor into this dream. The snow is still covering the ground so there's still a chance I'll obtain the skills! Then there's my gazebo plans. I see all of these lovely, gauzy sitting areas on Pinterest and dream of such a backyard. The reality will have to be more of an airtight lockdown if we actually want to sit outside but I can drape gauzy bits inside the enclosure to block out the bug-proof walls, lol. I'll be sure to post pics if the dreams come to fruition.
So, Happy Easter to everyone. We're not a religious family but I've always tried to instill the importance of this holiday in the Christian calendar. Whether you believe that Christ is the son of God or not try to remember his teachings. Here we go back to my credo for life, live by the Golden Rule; Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Plain and simple, treat people the way you want to be treated. That's it. I follow this every day at home or work and so far it's working!
Now, go find the chocolate eggs and enjoy you can eat salad and yogurt tomorrow.
Spring always brings about a re-evaluation of things more so than the turning of a new year. With the return of daylight I like to make plans for all that spare time that will suddenly appear. The gardens will, this year, become those shining examples of an English garden I so desire. My lack of a green thumb doesn't factor into this dream. The snow is still covering the ground so there's still a chance I'll obtain the skills! Then there's my gazebo plans. I see all of these lovely, gauzy sitting areas on Pinterest and dream of such a backyard. The reality will have to be more of an airtight lockdown if we actually want to sit outside but I can drape gauzy bits inside the enclosure to block out the bug-proof walls, lol. I'll be sure to post pics if the dreams come to fruition.
So, Happy Easter to everyone. We're not a religious family but I've always tried to instill the importance of this holiday in the Christian calendar. Whether you believe that Christ is the son of God or not try to remember his teachings. Here we go back to my credo for life, live by the Golden Rule; Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Plain and simple, treat people the way you want to be treated. That's it. I follow this every day at home or work and so far it's working!
Now, go find the chocolate eggs and enjoy you can eat salad and yogurt tomorrow.
Tuesday, 5 March 2013
The greatest Woman I've Ever Known
I've been thinking, as I do frequently, about my mom. It's been three and a bit years since she moved on and I still have a hole in my life. Not that I expected not to miss her but more that nothing/ no one has come along to fill the hole.
The most recent prompts came from Jessica and Dayle. Dayle is going through one of the most difficult times of her life. Her beloved Greg is not well and the burden of this falls squarely on her shoulders. Being her mother's daughter she's doing what needs to be done and ignoring the pain that must be folllowing her daily. I know she has been talking to mom but it's just not the same and though I'm trying to be a better sister it's just not the same. Sometimes you just need your mom.
Jessica's prompt came yesterday. Jess is transitioning between jobs and was at an interview. She took the subway by mom's old apartment and would have loved to have hopped off, had lunch, and talked to Grandma about all the opportunities opening up for her.
What was it about this woman that she still inspires such love and admiration? I think it comes from her genuine interest in everything and everyone. Having lived through the Great Depression and WW2 she learned to make something out of nothing and how to carry on although I'm sure she had fears dogging her many times. I can't imagine having the man that you love head off to war and disappear. Later to come home sick and I think suffering from what we now call post traumatic distress symdrome. But mom carried on, built a home and a family and proceeded to make a huge difference in so many people's lives.
I think both of their slightly warped senses of humour helped get them through some tough times. A trait that has definitely been passed down to their children. I know in my life if I didn't laugh I would have cried, a lot and I know that's what's helping Dayle remain sane right now.
I don't know if mom was actually aware of the impact she had on everyone who knew her. I do know that she was insecure about being a good friend, something I share, because she was perfectly happy with her own company. I know that, having returned to Bracebridge, when anyone finds out I'm Mrs. Ferrier's daughter I will hear nothing but praise for her. I'll always believe that mom found her calling when she started teaching. She was able to communicate with teenagers in a respectful and humourous way that, in return, earned their respect. Never afraid to make a fool of herself I know my friends found her to be the most human of teachers. Highly intelligent and always eager to learn she passed on this enthusiasm. Most of my friends had her as a teacher for at least typing class and I often hear that this was one of their favourite classes!
Mom taught, and therefore worked fulltime, most of my life. She worked for ten years to receive her degree in education and kept on learning adding several specialist designations until late in her career. All of this done while raising us three girls ( my brother, being much older, was on his own by then) and holding together a household where my father was frequently absent. Our house full of girls must have been maddening and I realize now that she had little outside distraction. A lot of people would ask if I hated having my mom at school all the time but the reality is I didn't. There was a definite generation gap between us, mom being 42 when I was born, but she knew teenagers becuase she dealt with them every day. That didn't make her less strict but I felt that, while she didn't always agree with our choices, she at least knew we weren't the only ones making them.
Mom was a born leader, another trait we share. There wasn't a committee created that mom wouldn't be leading once she joined! Not out of arrogance but because her keen intelligence could quickly see what needed to be done and how to do it. If there's one thing all of us Ferrier girls have in common is our lack of patience for fools. Look at a situation, determine what needs to happen and make sure it does. Don't dither, oh god, don't dither! I'm sure there were a few people who found mom's confidence overbearing but they are genuinely few and far between. I think it's because it was tempered with fierce loyalty and a willingness to roll up her sleeves and do the work.
Mom, like me, needed few friends. What she had was a small group of very close friends who supported each other. I know some of her friends in her later years were the best she ever had. Brought together by the proximity of the seniors' apartment complex she gravitated to a group of people who stimulated her intellectually. She would tell me about their discussions on world matters that I know I never have with people. Rob, Pat and Abu came from diverse backgrounds but with mom as the catalyst they came together as a loyal group right to the end. Mom outlived each of them and a little piece of her died with each one.
I often joke that I want to be just like her when I grow up and I continue to strive for that. The voice in my head and now in her grandchildren's heads. Do what needs to be done, remain loyal to your loved ones, never stop learning and remain humble. I didn't realize it growing up but because of both of my parents thirst for knowledge we were never taught to look down on anyone because of colour or race. If you are educated you realize that everyone has something important to contribute. Look outside your small world and get to know the rest of it. Then treat everyone with the respect they deserve.
I wish I could hang out with my mom and it brings tears to my eyes thinking that I never will again but her legacy lives in all of her kids and grandkids. I'd like to think that we're decent caring human beings and what could be better than that.
The most recent prompts came from Jessica and Dayle. Dayle is going through one of the most difficult times of her life. Her beloved Greg is not well and the burden of this falls squarely on her shoulders. Being her mother's daughter she's doing what needs to be done and ignoring the pain that must be folllowing her daily. I know she has been talking to mom but it's just not the same and though I'm trying to be a better sister it's just not the same. Sometimes you just need your mom.
Jessica's prompt came yesterday. Jess is transitioning between jobs and was at an interview. She took the subway by mom's old apartment and would have loved to have hopped off, had lunch, and talked to Grandma about all the opportunities opening up for her.
What was it about this woman that she still inspires such love and admiration? I think it comes from her genuine interest in everything and everyone. Having lived through the Great Depression and WW2 she learned to make something out of nothing and how to carry on although I'm sure she had fears dogging her many times. I can't imagine having the man that you love head off to war and disappear. Later to come home sick and I think suffering from what we now call post traumatic distress symdrome. But mom carried on, built a home and a family and proceeded to make a huge difference in so many people's lives.
I think both of their slightly warped senses of humour helped get them through some tough times. A trait that has definitely been passed down to their children. I know in my life if I didn't laugh I would have cried, a lot and I know that's what's helping Dayle remain sane right now.
I don't know if mom was actually aware of the impact she had on everyone who knew her. I do know that she was insecure about being a good friend, something I share, because she was perfectly happy with her own company. I know that, having returned to Bracebridge, when anyone finds out I'm Mrs. Ferrier's daughter I will hear nothing but praise for her. I'll always believe that mom found her calling when she started teaching. She was able to communicate with teenagers in a respectful and humourous way that, in return, earned their respect. Never afraid to make a fool of herself I know my friends found her to be the most human of teachers. Highly intelligent and always eager to learn she passed on this enthusiasm. Most of my friends had her as a teacher for at least typing class and I often hear that this was one of their favourite classes!
Mom taught, and therefore worked fulltime, most of my life. She worked for ten years to receive her degree in education and kept on learning adding several specialist designations until late in her career. All of this done while raising us three girls ( my brother, being much older, was on his own by then) and holding together a household where my father was frequently absent. Our house full of girls must have been maddening and I realize now that she had little outside distraction. A lot of people would ask if I hated having my mom at school all the time but the reality is I didn't. There was a definite generation gap between us, mom being 42 when I was born, but she knew teenagers becuase she dealt with them every day. That didn't make her less strict but I felt that, while she didn't always agree with our choices, she at least knew we weren't the only ones making them.
Mom was a born leader, another trait we share. There wasn't a committee created that mom wouldn't be leading once she joined! Not out of arrogance but because her keen intelligence could quickly see what needed to be done and how to do it. If there's one thing all of us Ferrier girls have in common is our lack of patience for fools. Look at a situation, determine what needs to happen and make sure it does. Don't dither, oh god, don't dither! I'm sure there were a few people who found mom's confidence overbearing but they are genuinely few and far between. I think it's because it was tempered with fierce loyalty and a willingness to roll up her sleeves and do the work.
Mom, like me, needed few friends. What she had was a small group of very close friends who supported each other. I know some of her friends in her later years were the best she ever had. Brought together by the proximity of the seniors' apartment complex she gravitated to a group of people who stimulated her intellectually. She would tell me about their discussions on world matters that I know I never have with people. Rob, Pat and Abu came from diverse backgrounds but with mom as the catalyst they came together as a loyal group right to the end. Mom outlived each of them and a little piece of her died with each one.
I often joke that I want to be just like her when I grow up and I continue to strive for that. The voice in my head and now in her grandchildren's heads. Do what needs to be done, remain loyal to your loved ones, never stop learning and remain humble. I didn't realize it growing up but because of both of my parents thirst for knowledge we were never taught to look down on anyone because of colour or race. If you are educated you realize that everyone has something important to contribute. Look outside your small world and get to know the rest of it. Then treat everyone with the respect they deserve.
I wish I could hang out with my mom and it brings tears to my eyes thinking that I never will again but her legacy lives in all of her kids and grandkids. I'd like to think that we're decent caring human beings and what could be better than that.
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